So in case you didn’t know, yesterday was the last day of World Breastfeeding Week.  It ran from August 1, 2015 to August 7, 2015.  I was meaning to get this post up all week, but life got a little bit away from me.  What else is new?

You may have seen the various meme’s and breastfeeding pictures.  The hashtag #normalizebreastfeeding all over the place and other great things. I don’t often talk about breastfeeding on my Facebook because, well, for me it is what it is.  It’s natural.  It’s how nature intended for babies to eat. I don’t talk about my diet all the time, so I don’t really see the need to talk about hers – Though the pictures of her with food smushed all over are adorable!

There were so many images of babies feeding on my feed this week and I’ve enjoyed seeing all of them!  I think that it’s a beautiful bond that a mother and child share and that it should be celebrated, not shamed.  Unfortunately, I’ve also seen so many people posting about how their pictures were reported to FB for nudity. I have one single breastfeeding picture in my photos other than the one above and thankfully it’s never been reported, but honestly, I dare you to do so.  Facebook doesn’t consider it nudity and neither as a culture should we.

It’s sad that in today’s day and age, where the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated is its best seller that a picture that shows less skin and is in no way sexual is considered more offensive. I mean goodness, I remember one edition of SI, there were no actual swimsuits!  Just body paint for swimsuits!  And this is okay, but a mother feeding her child in public isn’t.  It makes me sad.   It makes me sad that I can walk through the mall and see breasts larger than my head in the window’s of Victoria’s Secret but that some people are still ignorant enough to tell a mom that is showing nothing more than a sliver of skin to cover up.  But I digress from what I wanted to talk about.

I don’t talk about breastfeeding much, but maybe I should.  I remember being pregnant and having my heart set on breastfeeding my daughter.  “Breast is Best” and all that other jazz.  I mean how hard could it be?  I have two breasts, they make milk, put baby to breast, baby suckles, baby gets fed. Right?  Wrong!

For some people, breastfeeding really is that simple.  But for many it isn’t.  Unfortunately for many women in and around my generation, breastfeeding is something we aren’t familiar with because we were born in a time where it was looked down on to breastfeed.  That was for poor people.  Formula was the way to go.  As a result, so much knowledge was lost in regards to breastfeeding that many of us can’t ask our parents and grandparents for advice because the concept is foreign to them, having never done it themselves. It’s gotten to the point where we have to have special lactation consultants to teach what used to be common knowledge passed from mother to daughter.  (Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my IBCLC’s… I just wish we didn’t need to have them!)

I was one of those few that had issues.  In the hospital we had support, but it didn’t come naturally and it was a struggle.  We went home on a Thursday and ended up back at the pediatricians on Friday because my baby girl was jaundiced because she wasn’t eating enough/properly.  I was told to get formula for right now so that she was fed and then start pumping and giving her that while still trying to latch.  So we kept trying and by the time Monday rolled around, I was in so much pain.  My nipples were raw and the thought of putting her to my breast made me tense up in expectation of pain.

I was lucky enough to have a wonderful support group on post (Shout out to MOMS group at Fort Lewis) since a 1 hr consultation with an IBCLC would have been close to $200 because at that point, Tricare didn’t cover outpatient lactation support.  I got to the group on Tuesday and waited my turn.  A wonderful woman named Rhea came over, sat with me and asked me what was wrong.  I burst out in tears at her soft gentle tone, “I’m failing my baby.  She won’t latch on, it hurts so much that I don’t want to feed her, but I want to breastfeed.”  So much pain and agony on my part.  I felt like a failure.  I still tear up when I think of that visit. I can’t talk about it without getting choked up. Rhea was so kind, so sweet and just waited me out, offering comfort as only a woman who’s a mother can give.

She said something to me when the tears slowed down that will forever stay with me. “You are enough. The media constantly bombards us that we aren’t thin enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, but I’m here to tell you – you are enough. You are enough for that beautiful little girl. You are enough.” This of course set me on a fresh set of tears, but her quiet confidence settled my aching heart and we got down to the business of helping me feed my baby. That day we got a nipple shield so I could feed without pain and some cooling gel pads to relieve the pain when not feeding. And I went home with confidence that I could do this.

Two days later, I was back at MOMS group because I still couldn’t get a deep latch with no pain. At that point, we realized Baby Girl had a posterior tongue tie as well as a lip tie that caused her latch issues. It wasn’t me, it wasn’t my lack of knowledge or desire that stopped her from eating right, it was a couple bits of extra tissue.

By the time we were able to get them revised, my daughter was so used to feeding with the shield that she refused to wean off of it. We ended up using the shield for the better part of 8 months. It was a long 8 months and I’m very thankful that I worked from home. I dealt with mastitis, multiple rounds of clogged ducts and exhaustion. Using the shield tired her out. It would take about 15-20 minutes for her to finish one side and she was done….for maybe an hour, maybe an hour and a half if I was lucky. At times it felt like I was chained to the couch, but between MOMS group helping me get comfy feeding in public and babywearing, we made it work. Feeding in public was a pain because I couldn’t just latch her, I had to get the shield on, then latch. There were times I just wanted to give up. My husband though was my cheerleader and helped me push through so I could meet my first goal, 6 months exclusively breastfed. My pediatrician made it all worthwhile when she playfully pinched my daughter’s thighs at our 6 month appointment and said “Man, look at those thighs! Momma is making some good milk right there, huh?”

Around 6 months, she would take the shield off on occasion, but her latch still needed work. We were semi regular fixtures at MOMS group as we went to see how much she was eating in a session and get more help when needed. I know that we never would have gotten this far without the support we got there!

We ended up PCS’ing and it was during that time that she dropped the shield completely. I had a couple weeks of pain as we both adjusted, but without it she was willing to take both breasts in a nursing session and it only took 10-15 minutes! By about 9 months, she’d weaned herself down to only eating when she got up in the morning, before her naps and before bed, then a couple times at night. It was bittersweet, I’d waited so long to drop the shield and now she didn’t want it as much. It makes no logical sense, but hormones are strange things.

She’s still on that schedule as we approach her first birthday. I’m 5 days away from meeting my second goal of breastfeeding until one. From here, I have no goals. I’ll feed her until she self weans. I firmly believe that until 2 is ideal if she goes that long, but that’s on her at this point.

So to sum it up, breastfeeding isn’t always easy. If it has been for you, I’m happy for you! But if you are struggling, know you aren’t alone. These are the stories we need to share. There are places to get help!

There are so many things I know now that I wish I’d known before we started our journey. Here’s a quick list:
– Nursing isn’t always easy. It takes dedication and time. And support.
– Babies don’t only nurse for food, they nurse for comfort as well. The breast is nature’s pacifier.
– Babies have tiny stomachs and breastmilk is digested easier than formula, so they may eat more often.
– Just because I can only pump a couple ounces at a time doesn’t mean that she isn’t getting enough. Babies are so much more efficient at removing milk than a machine.
– Breastmilk: it’s supply and demand. The more you nurse, the more you produce. Supplementing with formula can lower your supply because baby isn’t nursing as often.

There are most likely more, but those are the big ones! I can’t stress enough that if you want to breastfeed and it is important to you get help if there are issues. Most women CAN successfully breastfeed, but access to the right resources isn’t always an option and they give up. Reach out to a IBCLC or other lactation consultant such as the LLL, find friends who breastfed and talk to them, read Kellymom, find a local support group. You can do it!

These chunky baby thighs brought to you with the support of MOMS group! Thank you ladies for your support on our journey!